


Straight Like Spaghetti

by bioticsandheadshots



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bi-Disaster Shepard, Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 12:58:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16326698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bioticsandheadshots/pseuds/bioticsandheadshots
Summary: In which Shepard has a moment of stunning clarity and then handles it in pure Shepard fashion: poorly.





	Straight Like Spaghetti

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Th3_Morrigan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Th3_Morrigan/gifts).



> who asked for awkward, first date mshenko fluff with her OC, Gabe Shepard.

Sitting at a corner table on the terrace of Apollo’s, Gabe Shepard orders another round of drinks for himself and Kaidan. The two are enjoying a well-earned reprieve while the Normandy is docked for resupply, as is the rest of the crew who’ve dispersed throughout the station. A few patrons whisper, pointing at the famous soldiers, but none think to bother them at their table. Everyone wants to find a piece of normalcy among the chaos and focusing on the Normandy crew reminds them that there _is_ a war.

Which is perfectly fine by Shepard. He, too, sometimes likes to take a minute to breath rather than be reminded of the overwhelming odds he’s up against. Kaidan’s on the same page, referring to their get-together as a ‘sanity check’.

However, as they start on their second round, the conversation strays from light-hearted jokes to deeper, more serious topics common when facing your own mortality.

“It’s just…” Pausing, Kaidan looks out over the balcony into the lower Presidium. “You plan a career, you focus and then suddenly the world’s ending and it’s too late to, uh, to find someone.”

Shepard frowns. Kaidan is one of the kindest, most thoughtful people he knows. He can’t imagine Kaidan alone, can’t imagine him not finding someone to love him as much as he deserves.

_Oh, shit._

His eyes go wide and he drops them to the table, raising his beer bottle to his lips to buy some time to process this unexpected turn of events.

Shepard has always been a ladies man. Flirting is nearly as effortless as breathing—something he does without even thinking sometimes—much to amusement of his friends. A string of women line his past, ranging from the casual dalliance to semi-serious. He’s never been in love, never thought the words except as an abstract feeling he knows he’s never felt.

Now, the word jumps to the forefront of his brain. For once, Gabe Shepard is speechless.

After swallowing his beer, he clears his throat and scrambles for some clever response. If Kaidan was a Kayla, what would he say?

“Someone?” he blurts out.

Inwardly, he groans, wishing he could facepalm at himself. _Smooth, Shepard. Real smooth._ Apparently flirting is entirely different with guys. Or maybe it’s just the fact that he only realized he was even _into_ guys about three seconds ago and his brain is still playing catch-up. Still, definitely not his best line.

“We’ve been friends a long time, Shepard. Have you ever known me to be with anyone? I guess I’m just choosy or patient or…I don’t know.”

“Nothing wrong with being choosy. Not that I would know.” Horrified at the words coming out of his mouth but somehow unable to stop them, as if he’s trying to make up for being dumbstruck earlier, he continues rambling. “I mean, I have standards, high standards, well not _that_ high really. But, you know, different strokes!” He finally manages to clap his mouth closed with an awkward, tight-lipped grin.

Kaidan tilts his head a little to the left, staring at Shepard like he’s grown a second head.

“You alright, Shepard?”

“What, me? I’m fine, never better actually!”

Kaidan shrugs, not pushing the issue, and rubs the back of his neck. Shepard knows better than to open his mouth again. No telling what he’d say just now. Luckily, the two of them have always been comfortable with silence so there’s no awkward need to fill the void with gratuitous chatter. Instead, as if some floodgate has opened with this newfound clarity, Shepard lets himself truly _look_ at the man across from him.

His eyes travel the length of Kaidan’s fingers, noting their slender grace. They look like fingers that might play the piano. Maybe they do, when they’re not manipulating the forces of dark energy. He follows the curve of them over Kaidan’s neck and along his stubbled jaw until finally alighting on his full lips. Shepard has always been good at reading Kaidan; the way one side of his mouth tugs up with hope or how the corners pull down when he worries but doesn’t want to say anything. Right now, his jaw is tight, lips drawn in a tense, straight line.

Shepard realizes he’s fucked up. Kaidan has always been more reserved and, though he’s never been one to repress his feelings, rarely feels the need to burden others with his issues. Here he is, trying to get this weight off his chest and all Shepard can think about is his own internal crisis. 

“Hey.” He reaches out a hand and squeezes Kaidan’s shoulder with what he hopes is a reassuring smile. “When we’re done kicking Reaper ass, you’ll find the right person. And it’ll have totally been worth the wait.”

Kaidan takes a deep breath before responding. “Maybe what I’ve never found—what I want—is something deeper with someone that I already…care about.”

Sheaprd nods, wondering who it is Kaidan might be interested in. Someone on the Normandy, perhaps? He and Tali have always been close and he’d certainly been happy to see her again during their mission on Rannoch. But then he takes note of the questioning, earnest look in Kaidan’s amber eyes.

_Oh._

“I, uh, I should go.” Shepard shoves himself to his feet.

In his haste, his chair tips over and crashes to the floor loud enough to startle the other patrons. Muttering his apologies, Shepard stands the chair upright and hightails it out of the cafe without risking another look at Kaidan.

Finding himself at the Spectre office, Shepard heads inside and lets the door hiss closed behind him. Grabbing a spare sniper rifle from the locker, he sets up the targets at the far end of the range and focuses. He goes through an entire clip, but he’s still shaken, his aim wobbly and acentric, so he switches out the rifle for an SMG. This time he unloads a clip as fast as he can and, when it’s spent, he ejects it and slams another in its place. Holes rip the target to shreds, pieces of it barely hanging on when he finishes.

Breathing hard, he slumps against the wall. It’s all so much, so fast. Only minutes after realizing he’s about as straight as wet spaghetti, he’s discovered that his repressed feelings are, in fact, reciprocated. And if that just ain’t a total brain overload. It’s like everything he’s ever known has turned completely on its head.

Though that _would_ be par for the course. The last three years have basically been one world-changing discovery after another. This really isn’t so bad. After all, realizing your sexuality is a little more fluid than you’d previously claimed is small potatoes compared to resurrection.

“Spectre status recognized.” The VI announces.

Someone makes their way through the outer office toward the range, the approach of the sure and steady footsteps as familiar as Shepard’s own heartbeat. He quirks up one corner of his mouth in a smile as Kaidan pushes through the door. Out of all the places Shepard could have come, he’s subconsciously chosen the one place only Kaidan can follow.

“I thought I might find you here.” Kaidan leans against the wall, keeping distance between the two of them. His brow furrows. “Look, Shepard. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. I just—”

“I’m glad you did,” Shepard interrupts. “I, uh, I’ve never. I mean… _wow_ , I’m normally not so bad at this,” he finally laughs.

“At what?” Kaidan asks with a straight face, though a hint of amusement laces his words.

Shepard rolls his eyes and pulls himself to his feet. “Asking someone out.”

“Someone?” Kaidan quips, a smirk tugging up the corner of his lips, and Shepard snorts.

“Well, it was gonna be you, but I’m already having second thoughts.”

“Okay, okay,” Kaidan laughs, eyes bright as Shepard crosses the room to stand next to him. “Try again. I’ll be good this time.”

As Shepard tries to find the right words, he realizes he doesn’t need them. Kaidan has seen him at his worst, his best, and everything in between already. And he’s still here. So Shepard stops thinking and starts speaking.

“You and me,” he says. “Now that the thought has crossed my mind, it feels _right_.”

Kaidan’s smile is blinding and Shepard feels a piece of his heart clench at the sight. Maybe he’s gotten the words right after all. And as they walk back to the Normandy, Shepard marvels at the way their fingers fit laced together and he can’t help but think that’s right too.


End file.
